HERE’S A PROBLEM: at some point in this write-up on the Vikings MC annual show you’re going to expect me to tell you where it was held. That’s what always happens in show reports, of course.Well, here it’s going to be a problem ...

Let’s start with the generalisations; it was in the Republic of Ireland, and to be slightly more precise, in County Kilkenny in the mid-south of the country. More than that I can’t tell you. I came off the main road as directed and promptly got lost. After wandering for a while I found a human and asked directions. I tried to follow them, heaven knows I did, but I got lost again – and covered mile after mile of house-free country lane. At last, I asked again. Then I got lost once more. This pattern repeated itself … oh, I don’t know; a dozen times? I almost, but not quite, thought of giving up – but I had to find my way there in order to ask directions to find my way home again. If you see what I mean. Still, it was a glorious day, and there was nothing at all wrong with pootling along Irish lanes, thinking yet again how this country manages to be like England in many ways and so very different in so many others.

I know the South and South-West of the country very well, but this more central area was fairly new to me. I gloried, as ever, in the sheer beauty of the landscape – and the fact that the population is vastly smaller than in England. You go so much further between cottages and farms in these very rural areas – which is a very good thing unless you happen to be looking for someone who might be able to give you directions.

It takes a bit of doing, being a biker – let alone a Harley rider – in Ireland. There’s plenty of space, but the condition of the roads really is dreadful; mention this over there though and you’ll inevitably be met with, ‘Ah, but you should have seen them ten/twenty/thirty years ago’. This may be a good point but it isn’t useful. The death rate per capita in road accidents is much higher than it is in the UK for that reason, and a couple of others.

In addition, insurance is very expensive as only three companies offer the service. This has been a bit of a scandal this summer, and the huge profits being made by that trio of insurers was vigorously attacked on RTE and in the papers while I was there. There’s also a higher rate of VAT to pay on bikes, parts and services – 22% instead of our 17.5%.

The points on yer license scheme so well-known over here was introduced in the RoI late in 2002. A total of 69 offences are pointsable (eh?) and most offences also earn you an £80 fine – or £120 if you don’t pay within 28 days. The majority will bring you two points if you ‘fess up’ straight away, or double that if you contest the facts and are subsequently found guilty – which seems a bit iniquitous. Getting to 12 points gets you six months on the bus. Classic bikes are rare sights over there, and what few I’ve seen have been the ridden rather than shown variety. The bike racing scene is big in Eire, though not as massively huge as it is in the North. There is a Harley dealer in Dublin – Dublin Harley-Davidson – and a larger one in the North, Provincewide H-D in Ballymena in County Antrim. Provincewide have told me that they do actually sell quite a few bikes into the south, and by filling in a form or two you can buy a bike without paying the VAT … though the bad news is that when you come to register it you’ll have to pay the tax, and at the higher rate of course. Folk from the Republic do it if Provincewide have got a particular model that Dublin haven’t.

There’s also an independent Harley dealer down in Cork – Hogs R Us – and in Waterford you’ll find both Hog Hill Custom Cycles (who says they are ‘Ireland’s Number One Harley specialist’), and Billy Barron Motorcycles who import bikes from the States (not to mention American-V stockists, Uncaged in Arklow, Co Wicklow. Ed).

There are Harley Owners’ Groups at both official dealers, and dozens of rally and MCC clubs across the country. I know of only two patch clubs though – the Freewheelers in Waterford and the Vikings.

The Vikings have been in existence in Ireland for thirty years, and this year’s County Kilkenny show was their eighteenth. It was held on a couple of very large fields behind a bar – the name of which I knew when I went in, but not when I came out – and Harleys were very well represented. My personal favourite was the blue Springer Softail, which wasn’t radical by any means, but just looked well thought out.

I didn’t spend as long at the Vikings’ show as I would have liked; I was just out of hospital and feeling rough as could be, and as I had a ferry to catch the next day I decided that a leisurely trip to Dun Laoghaire was a better bet than a fast thrash.

I really do wish I’d had longer to spend longer there – maybe next year, eh? The welcome was warm and genuine. The weather was wonderfully hot, and the sky a perfect blue. The Guinness was wonderfully cold and a perfect black below the creamy, ivory foam at the top. So I drank far too much. As ever. All I’d have to do is find my way back. Satellite navigation for Harleys? If they don’t do it I’m sure they’re thinking about it.