Everything from sensible motor cars to sanitary pads, (with and without wings), has its own carefully scripted spiel complete with a toe-tapping ditty that is 'Always' (sic) vaguely familiar to some dross that has been in the top ten recently, only with different words. Or even, unashamedly, with the same words; eg that great defender of the Amazon rainforest and former frontman with The Police, Sting, whose decry of the squanders of the earth's resources doesn't include the Jaguar car company apparently - not now that they've bunged him a few hundred thou and couple of cars for the use of his tune and his esteemed personage on their latest celluloid fantasy about their ugly new S-Type, allegedly. But sometimes it's the other way around, (a bit like actually having the ponytail before you're a slaphead), in other words, it's the natty little number from the television ad campaign that makes it big with the nation's prepubescent record-buying public after it's been touted without mercy on the old one-eyed monster in the corner. In the Seventies, (cue Pan's People in sequinned hot-pants, surgical boots and pouting lips), there was some son of the landed gentry who owned most of the Scottish lowlands, (and as such wasn't a common sheep-shagger, but more of a privileged serf-rider), who penned a catchy aria about 'one's ability to get one's blue jeans on' that so captured the imagination of the many trendy platformed-soled punters at the time that it shot into the charts faster than a curry through a choirboy.

And it's not only the talents of the musically inept that scores big with the admen, bikes have often been used as both a symbol of freedom and youth and as the chosen mode of transport of the great unwashed in their effort to coerce the public into a purchasing frenzy. Harleys have always figured high in the kudos stakes when a team of Justins and Julians from somewhere like Bartle, Bogle & Hegarty decide that they need a slice of moody motorcycle fantasy to promote their non-related product. But that too can backfire all over the old Armani waistcoat like a regurgitated beluga buttie; take for instance the famous Levi 501 ad, (from that same company), in the Eighties that had some teen idol pretty boy stripping down to his trolleys in a laundrette so that he could put his jeans in the wash to the strains of some old dead black singer, the result being that it was the double exposure of both classic soul music and esoteric bulging underwear that had people flocking out to buy the long deceased artist's back catalogue and boxer shorts, instead of the touted overpriced blue cotton trousers cheaply manufactured in the far east and Mexico and then sold to fashion victims as an all-American icon.  

And although it's the more modern Harleys, (read post Evolution), that have figured more among the actual advertising executive clientele as something trendy to park outside the office – mostly because of their availability and ability not to spew oil all over Justin's or Julian's strategically distressed strides – it seems that another manufacturer of the great American blue trouser once put its faith in the rebellious and romantic rhetoric of Harley-Davidson to promote their wares. Ironically it was through word of mouth and not world-wide advertising exposure that Tommo found out that a rather sad example of Milwaukee's most famous motorcycle was languishing in a warehouse after being used as a promotional prop by the Lee Jeans company in the 1980s. Exactly what they used the bike for isn't really clear as no one seems to recall ever having seeing it before, but apparently the 1979 FXE Shovelhead was dragged around in a van and exhibited like the Elephant Man until it's usefulness as a contemporary example of teen rebellion had been superseded by a skateboarding monkey or whatever, and just like the Elephant Man the old Shovelhead was rescued from a life of ignominy and restored to a dignified existence.

When Tommo collected the Harley from the perpetrators of the crime the bike had been the subject of someone's idea of what a customised, nay a chopped motorcycle should look like. And in an attempt to be kind to the artist responsible, (somebody should have stuck his white stick up his arse and taken his dog away), let's just say that chopping off his balls and putting them in his mouth before covering him in treacle and sitting him on an anthill would be a fitting punishment. Although the bike did fire up and run after a couple of hours of coaxing, Tommo was too embarrassed to ride it on the street for fear of being recognised and the transformation from dog's arse to dog's nob was started. At the time Tommo was working at Big Twin Services in Southport, custom builders and restorers of exceptional Harley-Davidsons, (and more popular among Shovelhead owners than the chocolates at the Ambassador's party), and with over 50 years of combined Harley experience between BTS owners, Dave and Ants, Tommo was in the right place at the right time to be able to do a full mechanical and cosmetic number on the sad seventy-nine Shovelhead.

Once the bike was in million pieces on the garage floor Tommo had time to survey the wreckage and due to the fact that he'd spent all his spare cash buying the bike, (it was cheap, but not that cheap), he was going to have to rebuild the bike as the cash flow would allow. First step was to make two piles, parts to keep and parts to bin, and after binning more than he kept the frame, swinging-arm, engine, gearbox, fork legs and brake hubs were in one heap and everything else in another. Over a period of twelve months the engine and gearbox was stripped and rebuilt by BTS spannerman Dave while Tommo busied himself with the rest. Working in a Harley repair and customising shop has it's definite benefits and all of the choice bits that Tommo rebuilt the rolling chassis with were collected by swapping, repairing and buying parts at the right sort of money. Apart from the wide-glide billet aluminium yokes, front mudguard and the trio of Brembo brake calipers almost everything else on the bike is genuine Harley. The Dyna Glide rear mudguard, light assembly and struts came by way of a customer who wanted a new rear-end look on his Dyna and offered the bits cheap to Tommo as part payment for the work. Similarly the Eighties Electra Glide 5-gallon tanks complete with dash and speedo came as a part-ex from a BTS customer who wanted a change of fuel receptacle. A Sportster rear wheel was gleaned from another job and slipped twixt the modified original '79 FXE fork legs that had been fitted with later model damper rods and lopped by two inches to remove the tapers to allow the tubes fit in the new billet aluminium wide-glide top yoke without a trauma. A pair of early Softail forward controls came almost gratis from a punter who'd splashed out on the exquisite Roland Stocker billet aluminium alternatives sold by BTS and some of the bits like the seat, the Bates light and the handlebars came second-hand. But to finish the bike Tommo had to dig deep and shell out for the new Progressive rear shockers, Brembo brake calipers and some of the accessories like the trick engine and coil covers and front mudguard, besides having to pay for the BTS in-house stuff like the engine and gearbox rebuild, the specialised stainless steel fasteners, wide-glide yokes and the paintwork – that painter Nige says was a real twat to do as Tommo insisted that the colours of the flames exactly matched the flames on his Satans Slaves backpatch).

The old Harley is now in far better shape then it ever was … it might have started life as an advert for blue kecks, but it's as an advert for Tommo's perseverance and good taste and the skills of Big Twin Services that it really wins friends and influences people.

Specifications

Owner:	Tommo
Make & Year:	1979 Harley-Davidson FXE 1340
Engine:	1340 Shovelhead. Full strip and rebuild, bead blasted crankcases, cylinders and heads, polished outer cases and rocker boxes. Medium Andrews cam, stock hydraulic lifters, Dyna S ignition, Rejetted Keihin butterfly carburettor with aftermarket airfilter. All stainless steel fasteners and hardware including oil pump tower caps, rocker end caps and timing plug. Aftermarket Zodiac custom points and primary case covers. Engine and gearbox rebuilt by Dave @ Big Twin Services.
Exhaust:	Dyna S 2-1 Power-Pipe exhaust system.
Transmission:	Gearbox strip and rebuild with bead blasted case, polished covers and stainless steel hardware. Kicker removed and replaced with Electra Glide type gearbox end cover.
Frame:	Stock 1979 Harley-Davidson Shovelhead FXE frame and swinging-arm. Frame modified to accept early model Softail forward controls. Progressive rear shock absorbers. Original FXE chainguard. Zodiac custom aftermarket rear wheel adjusters and axle plates.
Forks:	Harley-Davidson FXE 35mm fork legs shortened 2in and fitted with later model damper tubes and springs. Billet aluminium yokes, disc spacers, brake caliper conversion brackets, front wheel spindle with original speedo drive and handlebar risers machined by Andy @ BT Engineering.
Front Wheel:	Sportster 16in spoked rear wheel with new chrome rim and spokes
Front Brake:	Original 10in twin discs. . Dual Brembo 4-piston brake calipers on billet aluminium converter brackets with Earl's stainless steel brake lines and 3-way junction. Original rebuilt 1979 FXE brake master cylinder and 60s-type clutch lever.
Rear Wheel:	16in spoked wheel and brake disc. New chrome rim and spokes.
Rear Brake:	Brembo twin piston brake caliper with Earl's stainless steel brake line and early Softail master cylinder.
Seat:	Reupholstered original Eighties H-D two-piece seat.
Petrol Tank:	Seventies H-D 5-gal fatbob fuel tanks with original centre console
Oil Tank:	Original Harley-Davidson oil tank and battery carrier
Paint:	Custom paintwork by Nige @ BTS. Paintwork exact colour match of Satans Slaves backpatch. Frame powder-coated black.
Polishing & Chrome:	Southport Metal Polishers.
Handlebars:	High buckhorn handlebars with internal wiring.
Wiring:	Wiring by BTS. Original right-hand handlebar switch. Zodiac aftermarket custom horn and coil cover. Dyna S ignition coil and 8mm silicon HT leads.
Lights:	Bates replica headlight with QH lens. Dyna Glide rear light.
Stuff:	Flat 6in aftermarket front mudguard modified by BTS. H-D Dyna Glide rear mudguard with Dyna struts modified by BTS to fit Shovel frame. . Early model Softail forward controls with custom ISO pegs.  with Zodiac aftermarket custom cover. Zodiac aftermarket rear carrier and glass-fibre belly pan. Original Eighties H-D mirror.
Other details:	All engineering work carried out by Owner and Big Twin Services, 6a Kew Road, Birkdale, PR8 4HH, Southport, Lancs. Phone & Fax 01704 551599. Big Thanks To: Dave and Ants at Big Twin Services, Nige for the paintwork and Andy the machinist.